Positive!

Focus

To date, I have five more pounds to lose and an inch to get back into my pre-baby size. Although the numbers may be the same, I'm never going to be the same old me... because I am no longer the selfish vain brat who used to fuss over every so little details just because I think the world should revolve around me LOL! I would be the MOM version of myself...

I would want to lose maybe a couple more inches off in the midsection, erase the stretchmarks, tighten the sagging skin and boobs, and more... but that's not the focus anymore. I need to get to that 150 triglyceride mark or even below, increase my good cholesterol to 5o up, and maintain my blood pressure. These are the numbers that matters.

Other issues that I need to pay attention to:

• my bad knee, I have to see an ortho
• perhaps visit an OBGyn and figure out what has been going on with my fibroids
• sleep well
• smile often

Of Feeling Great and Laziness

I wish I can exercise daily... that would be ideal, at least five times a week (break on weekends hehehe!). Lately, to even do it every other day is a struggle... I notice that it takes so much to drag myself just downstairs to hit the cross trainer/elliptical, but when I do it gives me this exhilirating feeling wishing I could do it more often in a day. It's an hour worth of my time...

So what keeps me from doing this daily? Let me see:

• staying up late most of the times which leads me to feeling sluggish the whole day
• too many chores to do, tons of desk work, and whatnots
• a lot of online time other than work
• naps
• and utter laziness

I should resolve to do it daily. I should try to do it daily. I should not go back to sleep once the husband leaves the house for work. I might as well hit the gym and sweat the stress out... but isn't sleep good too? Hehehe!!!

Lose Weight, Not Loosen It!

It has become a pet peeve every time I read something about "loosing" one's weight. What? How can you even try loosening your weight, unless you intend to keep that paunch or grow that belly. It's pretty much nothing... so never mind.

Anyhoo, I check the mirror and not that happy yet with my mid section. It is still very far from my target waistline. If ever I get to that mark, I wonder (and hope) the flabs would go away too. For what does a tiny waist do when chubs of lard are still visible? I know triglycerides are still there lurking and waiting for their cruel come back. Argh! Maybe it's vanity, but it's really about my health... my heart health.

I feel lighter but I feel more lazy. I skipped working out for over a week already. I jump started my weekend with bursts of sprints, weights, and abdominals last night. I hope it shocked my body alright.

Now, I am fantasizing of trotting in skinny jeans, tank top, and stilettos! Wah, note the word fantasize because I will never ever wear stilettos again. Why should I punish myself? But the tank top and skinny jeans is doable... if and only if I'd get that sexy back LOL! I am tired of people asking me when I am due or how far long I am. I don't wish to see people who keep saying I have gained so much weight. It is true, I am not going to deny it. I just can't help but feel a bit pissed when I hear it. Next time, I am not going to be nice. {Some of these people are used to my barely 90lbs frame... I wish I can tell them how ugly they've become over the years, that would be awesome hahaha!!!}

"I'm not gonna eat today, and I'm not gonna eat tomorrow... coz I want to be a supermodel!" Do you remember this song back in day? It was one of the soundtracks of the movie Clueless... hehehe! It's funny though, but I'm never going to starve myself.

What this post is entirely about, is as hazy as the clouds outside hehehe! I just feel like ranting about this belly which remained almost four years post partum. Syet!

I am reading a book about motherhood and how it has taken a toll on her body and sanity. I can still painfully remember the way I think about myself in those days. Why did I ever allow myself to feel that way? Why? Darn! I do not know that person anymore, I wish to never meet her again... because I am not going to LOSE myself over loosen skin!

Have a healthy week everyone =)

Down 240

The nurse called to say everything looks normal, except that my triglycerides is slightly elevated! SLIGHTLY? Oh, I was ecstatic! My triglycerides were no where near slightly elevated since two years ago!!! From 518 (two months ago), it's now at 278. The nurse said 200 below is acceptable... fine... but I still want 150 at most.

BLAH

For this past week, I've been awoken to hunger pangs! A sour stomach that hurts like hell right under my rib cage. I down it with two Tums and a glass of water, sometimes I just sleep it off. And then if I work late at night, I must and I just need to eat. But when hunger strikes at an ungodly hour, the crazy and foolish me would eat all the junk that is left in the pantry. I have been secretly eating the instant pancit canton (the husband I think doesn't notice that yet... last week he knew I stole an instant noodle cup and I got a plenty of scolding!). Oh and today, oh today... I finally had that green tea ice cream pint sitting in my freezer happily for me! I didn't finish it though but I let it melt until it's frothy almighty for me, I like ice cream that way nyehehehe!

I also want to drink a soda so badly! What is going on? After brown rice, brown bread, and brown pasta, this???!

I ordered some Vietnamese rice bowls with grilled chicken, egg rolls, and lots of fresh veggies for lunch and saved some for dinner. I am not going to cook. I am sick, I know it. I had fever yesterday. No wonder my head was throbbing the entire day. But this fever won't stop me from doing my chores, it's not that kind of fever just yet. So, I say.

The stress has taken its toll I know. Must go back to the gym, shake it off and end it with a good hot shower (mine is scalding hot, I tell ya!)...

Brown Bites

Since I started getting on this healthy lifestyle or somewhat... the husband and the little one had to share what I stock in the pantry. Brown rice takes a lot of getting used to, it's not as squishy and moist as the white one even though I put a lot of water while cooking it. The husband thinks I need to cook something really special with sauce or soup so it will make up for the grits hehe!

We also eat whole grain bread now with all those whatnots and again 'gritty' as you munch on them. It may feel like some sort of punishment hahaha! So this better work! Oh and we're eating whole grain pasta to =P

***

I felt sick eating American junkie yesterday! Good thing there was a sandwich stop at the baseball stadium yesterday. Instead of having fatty burgers and fries, I had panini (I should have just had the vegetarian but since I was sharing it with the husband I had to settle the one with ham, cheese, and whatnots. But it was healthier alright, I ate a whole chunk of pickles for flavor and variety and some of its veggie crunch along with the tomato and onions. Yes, I eat the onions too!

Come dinner time, we would have wanted to have some Filipino food but the little one won because he likes Chili's chicken crispers, corn, and the blue juice! The big kids had the burger bites and soup. It was very filling but nothing compared to an almost home cooked meal Filipino style.

I wanted to vacuum the car, continue cleaning the house, and go to the gym to burn the guilt out but alas we arrived at almost nine and I had a scheduled online meeting. So never mind, will do extra work today.

Stuck

I am happy that I am stuck at 101lbs. So, perhaps around 6 pounds to go and I will be closer to where I was before. Also, the waistline is stuck at 27-28. Wish it would move to 25-26 soon!

Today, I had banana and low fat chocolate milk when I woke up. I am still waiting for my brown rice to cook and perhaps pair it w/turkey bacon and tomatoes.

Went back to the gym yesterday, 30 mins of cardio, weights, and the abdominals. But I think I need to do more now, I didn't sweat a bit!

Off Track

And so I was so inspired by that 101 lbs... I don't know if I still am, but happy because the waistline has been okay so far. This is actually making me think why it's easy to develop anorexia... I am enjoying the effects of eating relatively lesser than usual. Although I have to focus on eating the right stuffs, I am just enjoying that I get so full so easily the way I used to be. A couple spoonfuls and a few bites and I'm done. I eat frequently though, because I get hungry right away!

I haven't been going to the gym since last weekend. It's always a struggle on weekends... did a little pilates with the little one and boy he was heavy! I have to say I miss my cardio routine, it really gives me something to look forward to.

I started Metamucil, a fiber supplement which I add to my water once daily, and still continuing my fish oil supplement. I really hope this has improved my triglycerides level and increased my good cholesterol count.

So what have I been eating lately? I couldn't recall anymore but today, I slept at 10 AM! And this is what I had:

• Breakfast: cup of tea w/non fat milk and splenda
• Lunch: a slice of bacon and went back to sleep
• Snacks: one bite of chocolate coated pretzel
• Dinner: whole grain spaghetti w/tuna and shrimp tomato cream cheese sauce, iced tea, and chocolate pretzels again

Tomorrow, I promise to be better!

Feeling Fine

I have not been religiously logging in my food adventures this past week. Anyway, I have managed to control my intake of the deadly carbs -- rice, cakes, and whatnots -- and still trying to avoid them at all cause. Also, so far I've been able to exercise thrice a week with my 30 mins cardio at the cross trainer, weights, and abdominals. I know I should be doing this everyday if possible.

So, the other day I checked my weight and proudly sitting at 101 lbs! For someone who was 105-106 lbs a week ago, this was a feat! I think I'd be really anorexic if I have a bathroom scale. My waistline has moved to 27 and on a beautiful morning (without any food yet) it's 26! YAY!!! I think I will just manage to suck it in and pretend it's somewhat flatter and leaner.

Oh, but really I am hoping my triglycerides have gone lower too... because that's the number that really matters for me now.

05.20.2009

I am very hungry as we speak, my stomach is growling. But I am trying to control it because I just finished my work out. Yes, I am now trying to work in the mornings while the little is still asleep. He is currently addicted to his puzzles... so I'm buying time by logging in before I forget...

As mentioned before, I have developed insomnia and it's not really pleasant. So now, I'm hoping to be better at managing my sleeping time and whatnots. Today, I did a cardio burn workout for half an hour using the cross trainer, did some strengthening exercises using the home gym with only ten pounds weight hehehe! Did abdominal routine with a fitball, probably more than 60 reps.

Breakfast:
fat free choco milk

Lunch:
I'm trying to figure out, perhaps a salad...

05.19.2009

It's hard to get by with little sleep. Nothing beats a good rest... I have been like this for the past two weeks already. It's because I'm one of those who can't wind down after a workout at night. Even if I'm very tired, my mind refuses to rest.... and so I'd end up chatting away online. Savoring every bit of it hoping it will lead me to dreamland. But, sadly it doesn't. It even keeps me working...

I promise to be better. I promise.

Yesterday, I played with the little one and pilates moves with him on top of me or trying to tickle me is torture. It's like he was born to be my trainer. There goes my free membership hehehe!!! He likes the roller coaster ride that I invented. I lie down on my back, knees bent and feet flat. He sits down and tucks himself underneath my sheen like a safety buckle and then clips his feet around my ankles... and we roll and roll and I raise him up and down. I tell you, he doesn't want to stop and it killed me! I was so tired, I refused to move any limb. It was a good workout. Good thing there were lots of leftovers for dinner hehe! Around 5-6PM since I've been a certified insomniac, I'd get really really drowsy and tired. If I don't indulge I'd get a very bad migraine... now, now... bad habits wreack havoc!

And so, here was my diet yesterday:

Breakfast:
milk tea

Lunch:
spring rolls
tomatoes and cucumbers
grilled chicken
lemonade

Dinner:
chicken adobo and a few spoonfuls of rice
lemonade

Past midnight snacks:
whole wheat bread w/chiz whiz!
fat free chocolate milk

Exercise:
revised pilates version w/Akio
walking for an hour to get groceries hehehe!

05.18.2009

I haven't been good! Since last week, the plan to do the phase one of south beach went to the trash bin! LOL! I had fever for two days and that just did it. Plus, I never got to do any exercise. Bad! I was sleeping late... in pretty bad shape.

Today, I tried to start on something better:

Brunch:
milk tea
wheat thins

Lunch:
grilled chicken
garden salad
apple juice

Dinner:
mongolian beef
greens, cucumbers, tomatoes, bean sprouts
spring roll

Exercise:
30 mins cardio
weights and abdominals

Sneak Cheat

And so it was mother's day yesterday, and I had my fill. Yes, I cheated blah!

***

Breakfast:
sunny side egg
canadian bacon
coffee w/non fat milk and splenda

Snacks:
low fat string cheese
raisins
one slice of multigrain

Lunch:
Multigrain pasta w/meatballs
Coke Zero

Dinner:
palabok (which gave me a bad acid reflux later on, serves me right!)
roasted chicken
grilled tilapia w/soy-vinegar-onion-tomato sauce
greens, cucumbers, and bean sprouts
vietnamese egg rolls
banana, strawberry, choco fondue (ARRR)

And no EXERCISE!

Phase 1: 05.09.2009

Today, I officially started dieting following Dr. Agatston's South Beach Diet Phase 1. No starch, no sugar for two weeks. This is to wean myself from terrible cravings of sweet and useless carbs. Hopefully this will drastically lower my triglycerides and do wonders to my belly fat too hehehe!!!

To date, here are my vitals for the world to see:

Bust - 32
Waist - 28
Hips - 33
Weight - 104 lbs

In two weeks, I wish my waist would sit on the 25 mark! For my hips, the ideal measurement should be at 24. But let's just aim for 25 for now.

***
Brunch:
omelet w/tomatoes and onions
canadian bacon
a sip of vegetable juice (eeek!)
tea w/non fat milk and splenda

Snacks:
nonfat yogurt
water

Early Dinner:
salmon in soy ginger sauce w/asparagus and tomatoes
mongolian beef
water w/lemon
lemon wedge

Snacks:
dark chocolate, sugar free jello
low fat cheddar slice
water

Exercise:
1 hour walking at the mall
(and plan to do some core exercises later)

South Beach

I registered online in order to make my life easier. I get a menu planned out for two weeks and the corresponding shopping list. How cool is that? I will have to start by next week, because I only do my groceries on weekends.

I miss the walks and the ping pong. My husband is very swamped with work and so am I. We're both working at nights. Oh, my back logs! And the chores I have left behind! But I guess, being up on my feet fidgeting around the house is okay for now.

04.28.2009

Breakfast:
multigrain bread
yogurt

Lunch:
1/2 cup rice
eggplant dish
(cheat: chocolate cake and soda)

Snacks:
caprese panini
mint chocolate mocha

Dinner:
none

Evening Snacks:
wheat thins

Exercise:
none... too exhausted, no sleep at all!

04.27.2009

Today, was a little better. I woke up without any neck pain nor any headache. Although I got an episode this afternoon, it was nothing that tylenol can't handle.

Brunch:
3 slices of multi grain bread (it's really good!)
low fat yogurt

Lunch:
egg free pasta w/tomato sauce and meatballs (Akio proudly made hehehe!)
(cheat: fresca -- no sugar, no caffeine soda)

Snacks:
leftover pasta

Dinner: My birthday dinner at PF Chang's hehehe!
brown rice
eggplant w/special brown sauce
wonton soup w/spinach and mushrooms
(treat: chocolate cake and a bite of mongolian beef)
water w/lemon

Evening snacks:
nonfat milk tea

Exercise:
sleeping
ball games with the little one (not enough to make me sweat)

04.26.2009 (My Birthday)

No treats for me! I welcomed m 32nd year by checking myself in at the nearest emergency room. The headache which woke me up the other night did not budge despite taking tylenol. I checked my blood pressure at the pharmacy area and found that I was a bit hypertensive at 131/95 with a pulse rate of 106. It got me worried!!! Am I having hypertensive headache? Am I having a stroke? Am I going to die on my birthday?

These thoughts, the pain, and the nausea did not allow me to sleep. I woke up at around 2:30 in the morning and decided I better get myself checked the soonest.

There is nothing serious, so far. My blood pressure apparently is not that high to cause any major concern. The doctor would have wanted an MRI for my headache but it was not available at the wee hours. He referred me to a neurologist since I told him migraine attacks are pretty usual for me. He asked me to skip the niacin and see if my headache goes away, and gave me percocet (that is a narcotic, thank you very much!) and something for my nausea.

Went home at around 5:00 in the morning, took the percocet and went to bed pain free, a happy birthday to me! Wah! But I woke up at around noon with a head pounding and that oh so familiar neck pain which made me cry, coupled with the darn nausea which gave me no choice but to vomit.

Not a pretty picture for a birthday celebration! What could be happening to me?

***
Breakfast:
Whole MultiGrain Bread
Water plus narcotics

Lunch:
Whole MultiGrain Bread
Grilled Chicken
Wonton Soup
Greens in Fish Sauce
(cheats: chocolate covered pretzels and fried vietnames egg rolls)

Snacks:
Chocolate covered pretzels
Whole MultiGrain Bread

Dinner:
I want to get out of the house!!! My boys were ready but they just waited for me patiently since I fell asleep while they were preparing themselves. As soon as I got out from the shower, the little one dozed off. I just let him, he was up all night at the ER too. My bad. So, I made pasta. I tried the whole grain one, it was good! But the prune juice, eek! I'd rather have water.

04.25.2009

Brunch:
Oatmeal in Strawberries and Cream w/sugar
water

Afternoon Snacks:
Coffee w/half and half and sugar
Banana

Dinner:
Chicken Burrito (green and red peppers, onions, cheese, lettuce, rice, chicken, soft tortilla)
Vegetable Tortilla Soup
Watermelon Strawberry Juice

Exercise:
SLEEP
Cleaned the first floor (kitchen, living room, dining, and foyer)

04.24.2009

Breakfast:
Oatmeal in bananas and cream with sugar

Brunch:
Saltine crackers
tuna salad (w/light mayo and three cheese - parmesan, romano, and asagio)
celery and carrot sticks

Snacks:
Cheerios banana flavor
Non-fat yogurt (raspberry cheesecake flavor)

Dinner:
Pork Sinigang
Rice
(cheat: pan grilled pork belly eek!)
Mango Smoothie

Exercise:
1 hour walking

04.23.2009

Breakfast:
Oatmeal in strawberries and cream flavor with a little sugar
Orange Juice

Lunch:
Two pieces of meatballs
One green apple

Snacks:
Almond biscotti
Instant coffee with half and half and sugar
Banana
(cheats: two pieces of red bean mochi, one pack of cheese crackers)

Dinner:
Grilled chicken fillet
Steamed vegetable medley with healthy butter
Orange juice

Exercise:
20 minutes at the elliptical
30 minutes ping pong
60 reps abdominals

Note:
I am on niacin and fish oil therapy.

Journey to Healthy Living

Two years ago, I learned that I have a very high blood pressure specifically the diastolic which refers to the time when the heart is at rest. Then after a routine health check, I found out that my triglycerides (the fat content of my blood) is higher than normal at 300+ (normal should be 150 below). Last year, after a major overhaul with my diet and exercise routine I thought I'd beat the triglycerides but lo and behold... it has gone up to 360+!!! So, I totally rid myself of eggs and beef but what do you know six months after it is now at its dangerously high mark at 500+!!!

I know I haven't been diligent with my exercise and healthy diet. I have not even finished my niacin therapy because I wanted to get pregnant. Now, I have two months to get my act together if I want to live until my next birthday!

So, this diary will note the activities and my diet. Hopefully, my triglycerides will be within normal range by end of June.