How Am I Doing?

Well, the waistline still sits on that dreadful 30-31 mark! I still don't know the results of my blood work from last week. And I don't have a weighing scale, maybe I should get one. Well anyway, so far I have been doing mini cardio daily but skipped the abdominals because I am still in pain around my wound area perhaps because I am PMSing.

I still eat rice, bread, nutella, darn! But I enjoy my greens once in awhile. I need to overcome my laziness as to preparing my salads with my meals. I also keep forgetting my fish oil supplement, brrr! Water has been my friend and so is coke zero just to satisfy that sweet craving (I also have a sugar free, light ice cream hehehe!)

Today, I hope to increase duration of my cardio exercises and start yoga (if I may).

Clearance

:pre-baby @ 94 lbs:

:: almost 4 yrs post partum @ 100 lbs ::

:: 3 mos postpartum w/2nd baby @ 113 lbs::

Today, I had my routine annual check with my primary care physician. I got the heads up to continue my exercise regimen. Yey! These things I feel around my wound should go away in a matter of months, some scarring and nerve endings healing, etc. Hopefully I will be able to do this more religiously without the qualms of ripping my belly open (oh God forbid!).

So back to square one, baby steps...

• continue my fish oil supplement
• eat well, lots of veggies and fruits
• minimize sweets, avoid if at all possible (you think?!)
  
• 10-15 mins cardio, i.e. walking daily increasing duration each day
• 15-30 reps abdominals daily, increasing reps gradually
• pilates thrice a week
• water, water, water

I give myself three months to lose maybe three to four inches, and perhaps a good ten pound shed. I now sit at 113lbs (with a waistline at 30-31!), 13 lbs more than my pre (second) pregnancy weight, almost 20 lbs more than my pre mommy weight.

The Truth

I still can't make myself go through a serious heart pumping regimen. What gives? My belly, the tender and sore part marked by the emergency c-section four months ago. This has been bothering me since I started going to the gym a month ago. Tonight, I am most anxious. Scared that something is wrong. Argh! I can't go through being under the knife again. The thought kills me, enough!

So, I'll manage what I eat and just be active around the house. Maybe my little king Miro will shrink me to fab-ness... he's becoming to be a handful now. I can't make him jump on my belly, it will hurt me bad! I use him for strength training, hopefully it will tone my forsaken arms. The baby blab belly will have to stay there for the meantime.

The sad part is I can't wear the little black dress for the christening. Maybe Christmas? Bwehehehe!

Feeding Myself

It's always a challenge to plan and prepare what you need to eat daily, even more challenging when you intend to eat 'healthy'. Ah, for the past week I tried punishing myself for over eating. Hoping to get my belly into shape. Restraining it from wanting to eat more (it has become a bottomless pit lately), and choosing the healthier option. But somehow it made me want to crave for cake and ice cream and whatnots. Skipping rice must have done that to me...

So now, I will feed myself! I guess I'm happier that way... way better! I love this multigrain loaf I bought from an organic grocery in the neighborhood. Supposedly a good source of fiber and keeps me full. I also tried greek yoghurt, a bit creamier than what I'm used to, I will not buy it again.

Here are some in my pantry:

• fat free yoghurt
• feta cheese
• grapes, apples, pears, bananas
• raisins
• oatmeal
• multi grain bread
• spinach, spring mix
• poppy seed dressing
• turkey bacon
• ground pork
• chuck round sirloin
• salmon
• skinless, boneless chicken thighs
• whole chicken (can't wait to try making "the ragen")
• apple juice
• cranberry pomegranate juice
• nutella!
• cereals

Exercise routine ho-hum, my lower abdomen around the stitch has been sore the past few days. When I was at the elliptical yesterday, it even hurts when I sneezed. Have to take things lightly until I see my doctor next Friday. I do hope holding little Miro around, lifting him up and down, bouncing/squatting while carrying him, and many more count as cardio. (Makes me wonder how come other people lose weight when they don't get enough sleep? I hope that applies to me...)

Today, I hope I would be able to do some cardio. Yesterday, it was cut short because the king woke up. It was like in the middle of a warm up... well everyday is a struggle. Good luck to me!

Fourth of July

So today, was the feast day of America's independence. I started the day with a full brunch of rice (oh yes, couldn't help it!), corned beef, and egg downed with coffee and apple juice. Snacks was an afternoon full of juicy candies (those little gummy fruity candies!) with my little boy. Dinner was a quite healthy one with chicken (skinless thigh) bbq, salad w/poppy seed dressing (a very yummy discovery), watermelon, diet coke, and sugar free chocolate ice cream!

It somehow helped that the hosts of the party we went to are on South Beach diet! I am full but I don't feel like I am about to burst... hopefully I'd get to doing the cardio SOON!

Light and Free

It hasn't been a totally sugar-free week, but I have successfully ignored the rice no matter how tempting it maybe. I tried to punish myself by just having yoghurt for breakfast and hard boiled egg for lunch, I nearly puked. I had to wash it with some leftover spaghetti bolognese. The hard boiled eggs, I mashed with mayo (not even fat free) and slathered it onto a hotdog sandwich the next day. Unfortunately, my stomach couldn't handle it any longer I had to throw the rest away.

This week has been full of water, fruits, whole grain, dairy, and positive thinking. No major trip to the gym yet as I have been feeling bum-lazy, I still survive a three to four hour sleep. After writing this, I hope to do a mean cardio.

Maybe, I should try to revive my food diary:

Breakfast:

Omelet (fat free milk, parmesan, and slithers of meatballs)

Hot Choco

Yoghurt

Lunch:

Spinach w/Red Bell Pepper Salad in vinaigrette (lemon juice, olive oil, splenda, garlic powder, black pepper, salt)

Meatballs

Sweet Corn

Apple Juice

Dinner:

I plan to make pot roast for later that should go well with salad.

Downer

A ten day vacation translates to a ten pound gain as well! LOL! I really don't know for sure, because I don't know my base weight. My waistline is back to a disgusting xx, just like how it was after I popped out my babies. I looked post natal, but without the boobs to speak of. Yak! My appetite has gone to one hungry animal who has never been fed for aged!!! I blame it to PMS, I could =P

On my last day, my stomach was giving up on me. It was about to burst. I couldn't breathe, couldn't burp. I had to take antacids hoping it would go away, making sure I wasn't having a heart attack! After some time of relief, I get the same pain again once I eat something. My digestive system was definitely on strike, refusing to take the garbage I've been stuffing my face with.

When I measured my non existing waistline, I almost cried. Instead I laughed and thought, oh well. Tomorrow is another day. I have been promising myself to start eating healthy without the toxins, and hopefully get to one hundred fifty (triglycerides) level. Thankfully though, after getting my period today and skipping dinner (because I think my stomach can go on hunger strike) I lost two inches! YAY!

So there is HOPE! And hope I will... and since my little boy blue sleeps better now I will have the energy to hit the gym and sweat it out. Oh Lord, please help me shrink.

Baby Steps

In the hopes of trying to manage myself throughout the day, I twit whatever I eat to my health police. She is one fierce friend! I am really scared when she asks me what I ate or what I did for exercise.

I can't be diligent with South Beach phase one -- no carbs and sugar! But I'm doing it slowly, little to almost no rice. Sugary stuffs only from fruits. And I move, move, and move! The body is aching now because I cleaned the garage and the car. I will never run out of this type of activity because really there are tons of things to do at home!

I also went back to pilates the other night. Stretching helped me sleep better, I am more relaxed and well 'stretched'. Oh the difference a decent sleep made!!! Once I don't feel exhausted and sleepy throughout the day, I will go back to the gym.

Downhill

Yesterday, I almost ate an entire pizza by myself. Almost... I left one slice for the husband. You see, I love crusts. If you must know, I end up eating the edge and leaving the one with toppings. But with a very thin and crispy crust, I just couldn't stop! CPK frozen pizzas will be my demise... oh no!

In this hot weather, I can't be having pizza without an iced cold lemonade (no soda in this household unless there is a party), and ice cream. Ben and Jerry's tops my list. Classic favorite is the chunky monkey, but I had banana split yesterday by the porch while my big boy was playing with his gang and the little boy snoozing in his stroller.

Now, my tummy feels like it's been inflated! I couldn't blame this bloating to anything or anyone but myself. It's like a huge bottomless pit that can down a cow! Another scorching afternoon, I practically drank a pint of melted ice cream which I left in the kitchen table while napped with my big boy. Sometimes lactose and I aren't friends. Good thing I didn't have to run to the toilet while the big boy was being evaluated for kindergarten.

How can I reach my goals? When sometimes I couldn't help myself? I got the answer when I woke up today. I had my period. So the crazy hunger pangs was not me (if you know me, I don't eat very much unless with company hehehe!), it was my alter ego that comes to visit me once a month.

But I would like to think that I compensated all those unwanted calories by running and walking by the beach (oh well a man made beach of sort here in the reservoir near our place). The sight of a body of water excited me and almost brought me to tears! I miss home, I miss the beaches, I miss the ocean. Being in this land locked state, I will just have to settle with this -- a lake and a mediocre quality sand. Boy was it hard to trot along the sands with flip flops on and carrying a huge bag filled with goodies and whatnots for the boys. I also ran around with the big boy, but had to stop because my belly just jiggled and it hurts (I so want to chop this off! argh!)...

So the blabbing goes on but no action... it sounds pathetic. I promise to do well this coming June. I will strive to eat healthier and move a lot more! The weather is perfect to be outdoors, to sweat, and to enjoy life as I melt the pounds. (The husband plans to do an easy trek to the falls this coming Monday, I am excited!)

Sleep Deprived

Haven't been to the gym since last week. I feel that I may fall off the elliptical because I'd rather just sleep than sweat it out. However, I find walking around the block very therapeutic and relaxing. I carry my ten pounder in his carrier and I stroll with my almost five year old on his trike. It's much fun, I should do more rounds and I should do it earlier so it doesn't feel chilly.

I have failed miserably on watching what I eat. Yesterday, I tried to do South Beach phase one -- no carbs, no sugar. Tough luck! LOL!

• Brunch was non fat yogurt, two eggs over easy, and green tea with non fat milk and splenda.
• Snack was two cheese slices and an apple (eeek, no fruit for phase one supposedly).
• Early dinner was aglio e olio (eek pasta!) and pot roast, but dessert was two ghirardelli squares (ahem).
• Midnight snack (or rather very early breakfast) was hot chocolate and saltine crackers.

Despite that I felt lighter, my stomach doesn't feel like it's going to burst... and the walk certainly made me feel better... I will walk again later, but first -- nap.

Pilates

Today, I tried doing the basic pilates again. I am still not able to do a few movements -- can't pull myself up from the floor, can't hold certain positions because it's just darn difficult! But it's a total body workout alright!

Bikini Season

I have been wearing my tankini ever since I gave birth five years ago. If you must know, I not only have a book and make-up fairy but a swimsuit fairy as well. She has given me almost all the swimsuit I've had in the past ten years hehehe! Some of which I bought, only to be given away (just because). I dared to wear my string bikini last summer without batting an eyelash, a lot of women looked horrible than I did so it didn't really matter LOL!

Now, with a C-section scar and twice loosened paunch I don't think I will ever dare a bikini again. Perhaps if I can buy the same body that goes with this swimsuit I would. But who am I kidding? Hehehe! I guess I am having a moment now. Better to be conscious this early rather than punching myself in the gut a year after giving birth and still seeing that huge flab that looked like I was twenty weeks on the way. I have been there, sulked, and wallowed in sadness. Having a horrible physical condition clearly affects my mental and spiritual well being. I sure hope this won't happen again. Heaven forbid I'd go wacko just because my self esteem has been flushed together with my placenta!

I can do something for sure and perhaps half an hour of cardio a day would make a difference rather than just sitting on my ass catching soap operas online and shoving whatnots to my mouth. I don't really know why I'm fussing about these swimsuits -- tankini, monokini, and bikini -- when there is no place here to swim and lounge other than water parks (eeek!).

Oh dear, I am beginning to hate myself for sounding so shallow... but who cares? This is my health blog and that includes my neuroses as well. The goal is to get into shape, at least 95 lbs, 25 inches waistline, and 15o triglycerides level. Maybe I'm dreaming, but why not aim high, right?!?

P.S. There is little black dress that I plan to get into this coming August... *chuckles*

Today!

Shot was taken two weeks after I gave birth. I still think, I was in a better shape during this time than now albeit in pain. Now, I am pain free! Yay! Nine weeks post partum and I have started my exercise routine. I pray I'd stick to it really...

Today, I did a half hour cardio at the elliptical... too slow that I only covered about two kilometers hehehe! But I don't mind, because I was sweating a lot like I've never did before. My warm up exercise was doing chores, standing up to iron shirts and fold laundry hehehe! So anyway, I also did quite a few repetitions for my biceps and triceps using only ten pounds of weight... then about 120 abdominal exercises using a fitball! Syaro!

Hopefully tomorrow I won't feel so achy at all... got no choice I am a slave of my little king!

At It Again

Eight weeks postpartum and now the waistline sits comfortably at 29-31 (depends on how much I eat!). The boobs have shrunk and officially out of mom duty. Hopefully in the next month or so I will see improvements around the my trunk and arms (which are unflattering-ly huge). Here is my plan:

• wean myself from sugar dependency LOL! I guess I don't need to explain myself...
• start eating healthy choices -- low/nonfat dairy, whole grains, lean meat, greens
• do the 10,000 steps daily! I now have a pedometer, thank you fairy ;-)
• 30 mins cardio daily, weights, and ab workout (pilates, fit ball)
• chores and lots of chores!
• maintain a food and exercise log daily

My plan is to fit into this black and white polka dot dress by July 10th! This means I need to lose probably a good 5-6 inches around the waist and work on diligence. So help me God =)

The Rut

More than a year ago, I promised myself to get back into shape and get my 'numbers' right in order to be healthy. I needed to lower down my triglycerides and my trim my waistline. I was on fish oil, niacin (which I had to forego due to killer migraines), south beach diet, and exercise.

The picture above shows quite a belly, still out of shape but with a little waist nonetheless. My pospartum tummy looks a lot like this but with faint line along the belly button and a wound across underneath. The binder/waist trimmer that I have been using has lost its magic. Or perhaps I have plateaued already...

Now, I am in the same rut I used to be when I had my first baby. Rapid weight and waist loss after a month and then nothing happens pretty much afterwards anymore! My waist sits on 30, darn! Last week it was at 29 already (perhaps due to my fever)! I am too ambitious to lose five more inches in the next couple of months, but who knows? NGE!

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Right now, my milk supply is not that great compared to the day before I got a really high fever. I feel a bit sad and guilty because my little baby is fed with formula. Ay, bad thoughts go away!

Shrinking

I don't know if I should be happy about this... but as of today, my waistline continues to shrink at about half an inch to an inch everyday. Big YAY! Considering it's just been three weeks only. I was surprised that my wedding ring fits my finger perfectly well too. I remember after having Akio, it took about three years for me to wear them again. I wonder what made me so chunky before hmm!

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Health wise, I'm trying to break a low grade fever, battling the chills, aching every time I sneeze and cough because it's just too darn much for my stitches to handle waaah! I wish I don't have to take care of Miro so he doesn't get sick too... I just hope he will be spared and if he does get sick, it won't be so serious because he is not even a month old yet =(

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It's a gift to have a housekeeper during the day because I don't have to sweat with chores and what to make for dinner... but I should remind myself that it's temporary!

***

Can't wait to get back on my feet again!

On To Recovery

(me, lately... still need to lose that paunch!)

This is not a very glamorous picture while I was at the hospital recovering from the emergency C-section to deliver my premie baby Miro at thirty five weeks. If you must know, I look even fatter here than when I was pregnant! Hehehe! I was swelling all over! When I see this picture I can still feel the discomfort of swollen limbs and the rashes all over my body (apparently an allergic reaction to the whatnots that they have infused my body since I was on labor).

At the hospital, when I weighed myself it seems like I haven't lost anything despite popping an almost six pound baby. It's funny though... but now, I think all the swelling have disappeared even the big swollen tummy is gone! It's quite fast considering it's been only two weeks. I can't wait to weigh myself this Friday when I go for my post partum check.

Perhaps it is the exhaustion and the barely there appetite... and maybe it's the binder that keeps me sweating, or could be the duvet that I hide under that drenches me like I'm in a sauna. Whatever it is, I am liking what I see daily... although it's not the ideal flat stomach because who am I kidding? There's a paunch flapping over my stitch and it's not pretty! But I am just happy my belly shrank and I don't feel pregnant anymore!!!

In two months, I will be able to exercise and I can't wait! Maybe I am just too impatient to recover from all this.