Downhill

Yesterday, I almost ate an entire pizza by myself. Almost... I left one slice for the husband. You see, I love crusts. If you must know, I end up eating the edge and leaving the one with toppings. But with a very thin and crispy crust, I just couldn't stop! CPK frozen pizzas will be my demise... oh no!

In this hot weather, I can't be having pizza without an iced cold lemonade (no soda in this household unless there is a party), and ice cream. Ben and Jerry's tops my list. Classic favorite is the chunky monkey, but I had banana split yesterday by the porch while my big boy was playing with his gang and the little boy snoozing in his stroller.

Now, my tummy feels like it's been inflated! I couldn't blame this bloating to anything or anyone but myself. It's like a huge bottomless pit that can down a cow! Another scorching afternoon, I practically drank a pint of melted ice cream which I left in the kitchen table while napped with my big boy. Sometimes lactose and I aren't friends. Good thing I didn't have to run to the toilet while the big boy was being evaluated for kindergarten.

How can I reach my goals? When sometimes I couldn't help myself? I got the answer when I woke up today. I had my period. So the crazy hunger pangs was not me (if you know me, I don't eat very much unless with company hehehe!), it was my alter ego that comes to visit me once a month.

But I would like to think that I compensated all those unwanted calories by running and walking by the beach (oh well a man made beach of sort here in the reservoir near our place). The sight of a body of water excited me and almost brought me to tears! I miss home, I miss the beaches, I miss the ocean. Being in this land locked state, I will just have to settle with this -- a lake and a mediocre quality sand. Boy was it hard to trot along the sands with flip flops on and carrying a huge bag filled with goodies and whatnots for the boys. I also ran around with the big boy, but had to stop because my belly just jiggled and it hurts (I so want to chop this off! argh!)...

So the blabbing goes on but no action... it sounds pathetic. I promise to do well this coming June. I will strive to eat healthier and move a lot more! The weather is perfect to be outdoors, to sweat, and to enjoy life as I melt the pounds. (The husband plans to do an easy trek to the falls this coming Monday, I am excited!)

Sleep Deprived

Haven't been to the gym since last week. I feel that I may fall off the elliptical because I'd rather just sleep than sweat it out. However, I find walking around the block very therapeutic and relaxing. I carry my ten pounder in his carrier and I stroll with my almost five year old on his trike. It's much fun, I should do more rounds and I should do it earlier so it doesn't feel chilly.

I have failed miserably on watching what I eat. Yesterday, I tried to do South Beach phase one -- no carbs, no sugar. Tough luck! LOL!

• Brunch was non fat yogurt, two eggs over easy, and green tea with non fat milk and splenda.
• Snack was two cheese slices and an apple (eeek, no fruit for phase one supposedly).
• Early dinner was aglio e olio (eek pasta!) and pot roast, but dessert was two ghirardelli squares (ahem).
• Midnight snack (or rather very early breakfast) was hot chocolate and saltine crackers.

Despite that I felt lighter, my stomach doesn't feel like it's going to burst... and the walk certainly made me feel better... I will walk again later, but first -- nap.

Pilates

Today, I tried doing the basic pilates again. I am still not able to do a few movements -- can't pull myself up from the floor, can't hold certain positions because it's just darn difficult! But it's a total body workout alright!

Bikini Season

I have been wearing my tankini ever since I gave birth five years ago. If you must know, I not only have a book and make-up fairy but a swimsuit fairy as well. She has given me almost all the swimsuit I've had in the past ten years hehehe! Some of which I bought, only to be given away (just because). I dared to wear my string bikini last summer without batting an eyelash, a lot of women looked horrible than I did so it didn't really matter LOL!

Now, with a C-section scar and twice loosened paunch I don't think I will ever dare a bikini again. Perhaps if I can buy the same body that goes with this swimsuit I would. But who am I kidding? Hehehe! I guess I am having a moment now. Better to be conscious this early rather than punching myself in the gut a year after giving birth and still seeing that huge flab that looked like I was twenty weeks on the way. I have been there, sulked, and wallowed in sadness. Having a horrible physical condition clearly affects my mental and spiritual well being. I sure hope this won't happen again. Heaven forbid I'd go wacko just because my self esteem has been flushed together with my placenta!

I can do something for sure and perhaps half an hour of cardio a day would make a difference rather than just sitting on my ass catching soap operas online and shoving whatnots to my mouth. I don't really know why I'm fussing about these swimsuits -- tankini, monokini, and bikini -- when there is no place here to swim and lounge other than water parks (eeek!).

Oh dear, I am beginning to hate myself for sounding so shallow... but who cares? This is my health blog and that includes my neuroses as well. The goal is to get into shape, at least 95 lbs, 25 inches waistline, and 15o triglycerides level. Maybe I'm dreaming, but why not aim high, right?!?

P.S. There is little black dress that I plan to get into this coming August... *chuckles*

Today!

Shot was taken two weeks after I gave birth. I still think, I was in a better shape during this time than now albeit in pain. Now, I am pain free! Yay! Nine weeks post partum and I have started my exercise routine. I pray I'd stick to it really...

Today, I did a half hour cardio at the elliptical... too slow that I only covered about two kilometers hehehe! But I don't mind, because I was sweating a lot like I've never did before. My warm up exercise was doing chores, standing up to iron shirts and fold laundry hehehe! So anyway, I also did quite a few repetitions for my biceps and triceps using only ten pounds of weight... then about 120 abdominal exercises using a fitball! Syaro!

Hopefully tomorrow I won't feel so achy at all... got no choice I am a slave of my little king!