Lose Weight, Not Loosen It!

It has become a pet peeve every time I read something about "loosing" one's weight. What? How can you even try loosening your weight, unless you intend to keep that paunch or grow that belly. It's pretty much nothing... so never mind.

Anyhoo, I check the mirror and not that happy yet with my mid section. It is still very far from my target waistline. If ever I get to that mark, I wonder (and hope) the flabs would go away too. For what does a tiny waist do when chubs of lard are still visible? I know triglycerides are still there lurking and waiting for their cruel come back. Argh! Maybe it's vanity, but it's really about my health... my heart health.

I feel lighter but I feel more lazy. I skipped working out for over a week already. I jump started my weekend with bursts of sprints, weights, and abdominals last night. I hope it shocked my body alright.

Now, I am fantasizing of trotting in skinny jeans, tank top, and stilettos! Wah, note the word fantasize because I will never ever wear stilettos again. Why should I punish myself? But the tank top and skinny jeans is doable... if and only if I'd get that sexy back LOL! I am tired of people asking me when I am due or how far long I am. I don't wish to see people who keep saying I have gained so much weight. It is true, I am not going to deny it. I just can't help but feel a bit pissed when I hear it. Next time, I am not going to be nice. {Some of these people are used to my barely 90lbs frame... I wish I can tell them how ugly they've become over the years, that would be awesome hahaha!!!}

"I'm not gonna eat today, and I'm not gonna eat tomorrow... coz I want to be a supermodel!" Do you remember this song back in day? It was one of the soundtracks of the movie Clueless... hehehe! It's funny though, but I'm never going to starve myself.

What this post is entirely about, is as hazy as the clouds outside hehehe! I just feel like ranting about this belly which remained almost four years post partum. Syet!

I am reading a book about motherhood and how it has taken a toll on her body and sanity. I can still painfully remember the way I think about myself in those days. Why did I ever allow myself to feel that way? Why? Darn! I do not know that person anymore, I wish to never meet her again... because I am not going to LOSE myself over loosen skin!

Have a healthy week everyone =)