Bikini Season

I have been wearing my tankini ever since I gave birth five years ago. If you must know, I not only have a book and make-up fairy but a swimsuit fairy as well. She has given me almost all the swimsuit I've had in the past ten years hehehe! Some of which I bought, only to be given away (just because). I dared to wear my string bikini last summer without batting an eyelash, a lot of women looked horrible than I did so it didn't really matter LOL!

Now, with a C-section scar and twice loosened paunch I don't think I will ever dare a bikini again. Perhaps if I can buy the same body that goes with this swimsuit I would. But who am I kidding? Hehehe! I guess I am having a moment now. Better to be conscious this early rather than punching myself in the gut a year after giving birth and still seeing that huge flab that looked like I was twenty weeks on the way. I have been there, sulked, and wallowed in sadness. Having a horrible physical condition clearly affects my mental and spiritual well being. I sure hope this won't happen again. Heaven forbid I'd go wacko just because my self esteem has been flushed together with my placenta!

I can do something for sure and perhaps half an hour of cardio a day would make a difference rather than just sitting on my ass catching soap operas online and shoving whatnots to my mouth. I don't really know why I'm fussing about these swimsuits -- tankini, monokini, and bikini -- when there is no place here to swim and lounge other than water parks (eeek!).

Oh dear, I am beginning to hate myself for sounding so shallow... but who cares? This is my health blog and that includes my neuroses as well. The goal is to get into shape, at least 95 lbs, 25 inches waistline, and 15o triglycerides level. Maybe I'm dreaming, but why not aim high, right?!?

P.S. There is little black dress that I plan to get into this coming August... *chuckles*